Every counsellor or therapist starts from a philosophical standpoint – their views about the world which influence the way they work, their ethical decision-making, and the reason they became a counsellor. My own beliefs are most closely aligned with the humanistic perspective of counselling: I believe that we all have needs which need to be met, from basic survival needs, to the need for love and safe, healthy relationships, to the need to develop our sense of self and identity. I believe that we all have within us a drive to aspire to be the best version of ourselves, which is not say it’s about constantly achieving things or having more of things (even though that can be important), but it’s about ultimately being able to love and accept ourselves for who we truly are. When we experience stress, distress, or mental ill health such as depression or anxiety, I believe that, in many cases, it is because we have lost touch with ourselves in some way due to our experiences, and the way we think and feel about what has happened to us.
I believe that we can take personal responsibility for our lives and how we feel, but this is not to say that people cannot be affected by circumstances – life always has something to throw at us! As human beings and with the way we live, life is infinitely more complicated than being able to be responsible for everything that happens to us. We are affected by our genetics, biology, social environment, financial constraints, and upbringing, as well as our individual psychology. All these things help us to make us who we are, and we can feel like we have very little control at times. Counselling can help you to explore what you can control and influence, and make changes based on this.
Humanistic practitioners view you as a whole person, and take a holistic approach to counselling: your thoughts, feelings, experiences, and everything else I have just mentioned, are important factors to consider and explore in counselling. Within the humanistic ‘umbrella’ sits person-centred counselling, which is my primary approach. The focus of this approach is on the relationship between counsellor and client. A person-centred counsellor aims to create a safe, accepting, non-judgemental therapeutic relationship where you feel valued and heard. In this approach, the relationship is the therapy. The person-centred counsellor sees you as the expert of your own experience, and helps you to explore and understand your experiences, so that you can process your thoughts and feelings and move forward with a sense of being more in touch with who you truly are.
A person-centred approach is my foundation for all therapeutic work, however, I also integrate concepts from other approaches where it feels relevant and helpful for your therapy. I am seeing you as a unique individual, so the way we approach counselling will not be the same as the way I approach counselling with someone else. One person may wish to focus on their negative thought patterns, which is where I might bring in language and concepts from cognitive-behavioural therapy. Another person may wish to focus on their past, which can steer us towards conversations about attachment, which is a psychodynamic therapy concept. When I work with individuals to talk about their relationships, I may draw on my understanding of systems theory, which takes account of the social circles in which we live and grow. I often bring in concepts around trauma, ‘parts work’ and ‘inner child’ work as these are ways of working that are relevant to many of my clients and can help you to visualise your ‘inner world’ or ‘inner tribe’ more clearly. I believe that it can be helpful to share information to explain certain theories and psychological research (sometimes called ‘psychoeducation’) as this can help you to understand what you are experiencing from a factual or scientific perspective (for example, theories about how and why we grieve). I also enjoy bringing humour into sessions (where it is appropriate of course!) – because counselling is not just about exploring and coming to terms with sorrow, it is also about finding joy again. Laughter can be medicine too!
It is important to say that I don’t hide behind theory, or use theory as a way to tell you ‘what’s wrong’ with you. I use it to inform my empathy and understanding, and to help us to work together to explore how you feel and to find a way forward that feels right for you. The most important factor in therapy is the relationship between you and I, and I use my counselling skills and training to make counselling a safe space where you feel able to share your thoughts, feelings and experiences with me, without fear of being judged. This is about a safe, working, counselling partnership between two human beings, and it is a collaborative process with you in the driving seat.
