My Counselling Approach
Every counsellor or therapist starts from a philosophical standpoint – their views about the world which influence the way they work, their ethical decision-making, and the reason they became a counsellor. My own beliefs are most closely aligned with the humanistic perspective of counselling: I believe that we all have needs which need to be met, from basic survival needs, to the need for love and safe, healthy relationships, to the need to develop our sense of self and identity. I believe that we all have within us a drive to aspire to be the best version of ourselves, which is not say it’s about constantly achieving things or having more of things (even though that can be important), but it’s about ultimately being able to love and accept ourselves for who we truly are. When we experience stress, distress, or mental ill health such as depression or anxiety, I believe that, in many cases, it is because we have lost touch with ourselves in some way due to our experiences, and the way we think and feel about what has happened to us.
I believe that we can take personal responsibility for our lives and how we feel, but this is not to say that people cannot be affected by circumstances – life always has something to throw at us! As human beings and with the way we live, life is infinitely more complicated than being able to be responsible for everything that happens to us. We are affected by our genetics, biology, social environment, financial constraints, and upbringing, as well as our individual psychology. All these things help us to make us who we are, and we can feel like we have very little control at times. Counselling can help you to explore what you can control and influence, and make changes based on this.
Humanistic practitioners view you as a whole person, and take a holistic approach to counselling: your thoughts, feelings, experiences, and everything else I have just mentioned, are important factors to consider and explore in counselling. Within the humanistic ‘umbrella’ sits person-centred counselling, which is my primary approach. The focus of this approach is on the relationship between counsellor and client. A person-centred counsellor aims to create a safe, accepting, non-judgemental therapeutic relationship where you feel valued and heard. In this approach, the relationship is the therapy. The person-centred counsellor sees you as the expert of your own experience, and helps you to explore and understand your experiences, so that you can process your thoughts and feelings and move forward with a sense of being more in touch with who you truly are.
A person-centred approach is my foundation for all therapeutic work, however, I also integrate concepts from other approaches where it feels relevant and helpful for your therapy. I am seeing you as a unique individual, so the way we approach counselling will not be the same as the way I approach counselling with someone else. One person may wish to focus on their negative thought patterns, which is where I might bring in language and concepts from cognitive-behavioural therapy. Another person may wish to focus on their past, which can steer us towards conversations about attachment, which is a psychodynamic therapy concept. When I work with individuals to talk about their relationships, I may draw on my understanding of systems theory, which takes account of the social circles in which we live and grow. I often bring in concepts around trauma, ‘parts work’ and ‘inner child’ work as these are ways of working that are relevant to many of my clients and can help you to visualise your ‘inner world’ or ‘inner tribe’ more clearly. I believe that it can be helpful to share information to explain certain theories and psychological research (sometimes called ‘psychoeducation’) as this can help you to understand what you are experiencing from a factual or scientific perspective (for example, theories about how and why we grieve). I also enjoy bringing humour into sessions (where it is appropriate of course!) – because counselling is not just about exploring and coming to terms with sorrow, it is also about finding joy again. Laughter can be medicine too!
It is important to say that I don’t hide behind theory, or use theory as a way to tell you ‘what’s wrong’ with you. I use it to inform my empathy and understanding, and to help us to work together to explore how you feel and to find a way forward that feels right for you. The most important factor in therapy is the relationship between you and I, and I use my counselling skills and training to make counselling a safe space where you feel able to share your thoughts, feelings and experiences with me, without fear of being judged. This is about a safe, working, counselling partnership between two human beings, and it is a collaborative process with you in the driving seat.
The Counselling Process
The way I tend to describe the counselling process itself is as a process of unravelling. When people come to counselling, they have often been holding onto a lot for a long time, and need a safe space and a safe person to start offloading it all with, so that they can begin making sense of it.
There is something a little bit magical that happens when we say out loud to another person what we are truly thinking and feeling, and we feel we are really heard. Something shifts inside. That thing that you’ve been holding onto for so long can finally leave your body and make space for the next step in that thought process. I say thought process just because it’s a common phrase we use and will probably make the most sense as an example, but that process can also be felt as emotions or in the way our nervous system is responding. Essentially, something changes. If you imagine you’ve been stood on the same step on a staircase for a very long time, not able to see the next one, and then it suddenly appears.
The more you are able to speak openly and honestly about your thoughts and feelings, the more ‘you’ you will begin to feel. Something I have really noticed is that once you’ve said it, you can’t unsay it. It’s like not being able to put the toothpaste back in the tube: you can’t ignore that you feel that way anymore. It can be very powerful, yet also very subtle. And when you can’t ignore it anymore, that often prompts you to feel like you want or need to do something about it, or at least to make a conscious choice to not do anything but be fully aware why that is. And then, from our conversations in counselling sessions, you will more than likely begin to figure out coping strategies and solutions to problems that really resonate with what you’re facing, because they will be coming from you. This is where we begin to understand this as a process: you are ‘in the flow’ of your own being, and living and acting from that rather than all the stuff you internalised from those around you over the years that told you how you should be.
Counselling Format and Session Frequency
I work with individual adults aged 18 and up. Counselling can take place either in-person at my therapy room in Droitwich Spa, or remotely by telephone or video call. Counselling normally takes place on a weekly or fortnightly basis, as this offers a sense of continuity to our work and gives us the chance to develop a good therapeutic relationship. We will discuss this further when we meet, and can change the arrangement at any time. Many people start off with weekly sessions, and then decide to have them less frequently as they begin to feel better.
I am happy to do sessions less often if needed – please follow this link to find out more: emotional support. I am also able to offer creative ways of working, easily integrated into conventional sessions where appropriate, but we can also make creativity more of a focus in sessions if you wish. In addition, I offer a counselling/reiki combo for those wishing to experience the support and exploration of counselling with the relaxation and healing of reiki. If you’d like to read more about me or the counselling approach I use, please continue to the following pages: my approach & about me.
Fees
Sessions last about 50 minutes, but sessions can be longer or shorter based on your individual needs (fees vary accordingly). I offer a free initial 30 minute meeting so that you can see if working with me is something you would like to do, with no obligation to book further sessions.
| Type of Session | Length of Session | Location | Price |
|---|---|---|---|
| Initial Meeting | 30 minutes | Therapy room* Online Telephone | Free |
| Counselling Session | 50 minutes | Therapy room* Online Telephone | £50 |
*Therapy room located at Amphlett House, Droitwich Spa
Cancellations
If you wish to cancel an appointment, I require at least 24 hours notice, otherwise the full cost of the session will be payable.